This is my screenshot summary of Game of Thrones Season 1 Episode 1, Part 2 (A Nice Day for a Slight Beheading)
Want to see a different part or episode? Go
HERE for a complete list of completed summaries.
Warning: Spoilers within, and a note that dialogue is not necessarily directly from the episode. This blog also contains completely inappropriate amounts of profanity.
Will: Run away, run away, run away, run away, run away!
Will: Shit.
Winterfell, the great Northern castle and stronghold of the Starks. Lovely scenery, isn't it? About as cheerful as Glenn Beck's outlook for the future. Time to meet the Starks!
Rickon Stark: This is the happiest you'll see me all series, if you ever figure out who I am.
Bran Stark: Aw, man-- I suck at this sport.
Robb Stark: *smirk* I don't.
Arya Stark: Aw, man-- I suck at needlework.
Sansa Stark: *smirk* I don't.
Jon "Not a Stark" Snow: Now, don't fuck up-- our father and your mother are watching.
Bran: That's an overly complicated method of explaining that you're only my half-brother.
Jon: Yes, I know.
Ned & Catelyn Stark: Yep, we're watching. See us watching? We're watching from this watching balcony.
Arya: Ha ha! I'm better at archery than Bran!
Bran: Bawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Ser Rodkrik Cassel: Lord and Lady Stark, I bring grave news. We have captured a Night's Watch deserter nearby.
Theon Greyjoy: I wish I was man enough to have a neckbeard I could BRAID.
Ned: Right. Lord Neckbeard, throw on some Sabbath tunes and tell the boys to saddle their horses. Bran, too.
Catelyn: But, but, but-- he's only 10!
Ned: He has to grow up sometime, Cat.
I DID.
Will: No, seriously guys-- there were ice zombies and they cut off the heads of my friends, and they mutilated a bunch of Wildlings, but then the Wildlings came back alive and were ice zombies too, and this one chick ice zombie-- well I, I think she had a crush on me.
Ned: You do realize how batshiat insane you sound, right?
Will: *sigh* Yeah, I know. I'm not bullshitting you, I swear. The ice zombie chick kept following me, and her eyes were all blue like ice.
Ned: Mmkay. Well, let's get on with it, then.
Ned: I, Eddard of the House Stark, Grand Muckety Muck of the North for King Robert the Fat and Lecherous, First of his Name, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, "Protector" of the Realm, do sentence you to die for the crime of running away when faced with hordes of ice zombies.
Will: 'tis a fair cop.
Jon: Don't look away. Father will know if you do.
Bran: Does it
look like I'm looking away, asshole? STFU with the helpful advice already.
Ned: BOOM! HEADSHOT!
Ned: Do you understand why I had to do it?
Bran: Because we're Starks, and have to be more badass than those pussies down South?
Ned: Yeah, that about covers it.
TO BE CONTINUED..... Read the Next Part Here:
Ep. 1, Part 3 - Definitely Not an Allegory
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